Runescape Reflections

So you've read about my Runescape exploits for some time. Now that I've wrapped up "Play Money", I've begun to ask myself: what does Runescape mean to me? I've boiled it down to two major points . . .

1. It's Fun - Often I feel that people disregard just having fun. Like I'm doing right now, they feel the need to analyze every aspect of their lives for optimum productivity. I got into Runescape simply because...it was fun. I was always a big fiction reader and aspiring writer, so to have the opportunity to go run around another world was pretty cool.

2. It's Competitive - This, I now realize, is my true reason for playing. Lots of things are fun, but what keeps me coming back to Runescape is the drive to be better than everyone else. I'm highly competitive by nature (I've played soccer since I was 4, and although I was always the skinniest on the team, my coach allowed me to play defender because he knew I would never let the ball get past me if I was at all capable of stopping it) and this allows me to get some of this pent-up aggression out. It sounds silly that clicking a mouse can relieve anxiety, but, it does for me. It allows me to relax, focus, and, sickeningly enough, feel better about myself. Every level I increase puts me one more level above those "noobs", and I feel that much better for it.

I don't want to go on too much about this because I'm afraid I'll then start treading on my paper topic, so, I'll leave it here for now :-).

In other news, it's my boyfriend's 21st birthday tomorrow!

Play Money's Final Stretch

I've completed Play Money, and I'm actually kind of sad about that. I really enjoyed this book as I felt I could connect to it in various ways. An interesting thing that Dibbell noted near the end of his book was "what's the ending of a game than a different sort of death?" (287). Oddly, I feel this way when completing a book I really get into (mostly fiction novels where you really come to care for the characters). When I know I'm coming to the end, I'll budget myself some time where I can read the final pages alone, and then I'll sit and reflect on it, skimming through the pages, and wondering what it all meant. It's odd that these various "fake" sources can bring about new methods of thinking and knowledge. That's why I found it interesting when Dibbell later said that "But here I am, a writer again, and not a merchant of make-believe" (292). In a way, I feel that his two professions are not all that different. In the game, he is dealing in the virtual trade of imaginary objects. In writing, he is dealing with the transfer of abstract thoughts and ideas from one person to another. And so, here's a neat little analogy for you: Game:Computer::Writing:Book (book used loosely here, standing in for all methods of writing). Writing is, of course, what makes up the book; however, it is not the book. The book holds the information, much like a computer, and it is the writing itself which gives way to other concepts, ideas, worlds even, much like the game. People like Dibbell and myself just can't seem to get into the tangible items with the same vigor as we do with things that, to some people, just "don't matter".

"It was not simply a diversion from the path of life; it was the path itself, for a time, and just as fraught with existential care as that path ever is" (289). Again, Dibbell directly reflects my feelings with reading. Although fiction reading can be viewed as "escapism", it also allows for one to examine him or herself as well as the people and world around him or her. Games are strikingly similar, and I feel that people should not be so quick to cast them away.

Play Money Part 3

What the hell was wrong with me? My gloom was understandable, I guess, but really: A hard-drive crash is a set-back, not an existential crisis. (191)

What is it about the computer that makes us lose our heads when we no longer have access to it? Is it really the communication? We still have phones for that. Suddenly, when the internet's down or your hard drive crashes, your life seems to be thrown into perspective and you come to one heart-wrenching analysis: Your life is boring.

As a fellow computer junkie, I feel I have the right to put this well known fact into words. Yes, I often insist I'm not addicted to the computer; however, I am the first to find life worthless when I cannot check my e-mail, get on YouTube, or read everyone's away messages. In fact, most of my dealings with the internet have nothing to do with communicating with other people, as the majority of it is that person throwing something out into oblivion, and me picking it up. I have posted a whole two (!) videos to YouTube, but those are both music fan videos I did to my favorite movie (STAND BY ME!!! Check it out if you haven't seen it, it's amazing). My friend, though, is worse than me, and I thought she was going to kill herself when a hacker that she pissed off (because she would get into all these online arguments) somehow erased her harddrive. Now I don't go that far, but still, I've become so dependent on the internet that I don't even recognize it until it's gone. As I've noted on a post on the course blog, in one day I routinely spend 8 hours on the computer. Now that's not saying it's all a waste of time (though, honestly, most of it is). Just today, in fact, I've spent 11 1/2 hours sitting in front of a computer. Do you know how sad that is? Granted, for 5 hours I've been up here at work in the library and there isn't much else to do except homework, most of which I need the computer to use.

So although I don't feel like I'm wasting my life, I wonder if I am? I know Dibbell had similar thoughts, though he's using his computer time far more productively than I am. I'm very interested to see what happens next, and who knows, maybe I'll be able to turn all this time on the computer into cash! Here's to hoping!

More Runescape!

I blame it on you, Professor Reid. However, today I have finally hit the 59 mining level mark! This was a big deal to me, as now I can take a drink called a "dwarven stout" which temporarily raises the character's mining level by a point so I can sneak into the mining guild for miners 60+. I don't think I can explain how excited that made me, and I know exactly how Dibbell feels when he makes a big sale.

Anyway, now an ethical question is brought up. Before I could (sneakily) gain entrance to the Mining Guild, there was one specific spot where most lower level miners went to get their coal, and everyone knows where it is. Unfortunately, there are only three coal rocks, and once someone gets coal from a rock, it takes a good thirty seconds or so for the coal to come back (this happens with all the ores, but with the harder ones, it takes longer. Coal is a medium-level ore). Thus, people fight quite fiercely over these three rocks. While I was levelling up, I had to fight with the best of them to try and sneak a coal or two before they could (mining involves clicking the mouse on a rock and watching your character swing the pick at it, the higher level you are the more chance you are to get the ore quickly, but this is not always guaranteed). I never asked for any sort of mercy, I knew I was weak and had to build my way up. Since I've gotten quite good at coal mining, however, I've had people request that they have their own rock and I have my own rock. Now, in theory, this is nice, but remember the 30-seconds. That's a long time to stand and wait for the coal to come back when I could move on to the next rock and take the coal from there. I had to fight my way up, so I see no reason why I should not take advantage of my mining level. In a really twisted sort of way, I appreciate my level more because I worked so damn hard at it.

You probably think I'm a nerd :-). The funny thing is, this is exactly how I view life as well.

Play Money -- Gold Diggers

Looking over the rules to my ever-beloved RuneScape, one finds that Dibbell and co. break 5 out of the 15 rules.
-- Cheating/Bug Abuse ("Unintended bugs can spoil the effect of the game, so we obviously want to fix them as quickly as possible. Deliberately taking advantage of a bug can unbalance the game economy or devalue other players' achievements, so it is against the rules.")
-- Using Third Party Software ("macroing ruins the game for everyone else. We don't want some players having an unfair advantage and filling up all the best training spots with bots. This game is designed to be enjoyed by humans, not bots. In the past, when we have not enforced this rule, we have rapidly found it quickly spoils the game, and players themselves start demanding that we enforce it. So now we enforce it thoroughly.")
-- Encouraging Others to Break Rules ("Encouraging or helping others to break the rules is as bad as breaking them yourself, and therefore anyone doing so will be treated as if they were the one breaking the rule.")
-- Account Sharing/Trading ("Firstly, many of the accounts people try to sell are actually accounts they have stolen, so, by buying the account you are helping them profit from their crime, and encouraging them to do it more! Secondly, this rule is for your protection, as people who share accounts run the risk that the person using the account won't give it back, or that the person will break a game rule causing your account to be banned.")
-- Real World Item Trading ("We have this rule for three reasons: Firstly because we don’t want RuneScape to be just a game in which you can buy your way to success, if we let players start doing this it devalues the game for other players. We feel your status in real-life shouldn’t affect your ability to be successful in the game. Secondly we cannot monitor the transactions made between players outside the game, and if players swap items for external benefits we can’t see, to us it looks like an unbalanced suspicious trade. Thirdly, often when players attempt to break this rule and sell items for real cash the items are actually stolen, so you could even end up getting in trouble for receiving stolen property. If you purchased an account you might find it suddenly returned to the original rightful owner and yourself out of pocket.")

I'm not as familiar with Ultima and therefore am only going by the rules for Runescape, which, by the way, I agree whole-heartedly with and wonder why Ultima has not adopted the same rule sets.

Through some searching, I actually came across a site much like something Dibbell would have set up: http://www.runescape4u.org/rs.htm

I'm not at all surprised that people would sell and buy these items for real-world money, however, it is not something I would condone or think about doing. I guess I just have too much integrity for my sitting there and clicking the mouse for hours on end that I feel angry when other people don't go through that same process.

Sorry this isn't more in depth, it's nearing 2am and I'm burnt out :-(. I can't wait to continue reading, however, I love this book so far!

Runescape and Video

So, I'm going to blame Dr. Reid and Play Money for getting me addicted to Runescape again. Everytime I finish reading a few more chapters of the book I get an overwhelming desire to log on as Wolf Eye18 and mine away or go and kill giants. I'm fighting the urge to do it right now, actually.

I really enjoyed making the video, mostly because I was already friends with Phil, Diana, and Liz, and therefore felt comfortable with them. I don't think I would have enjoyed working with other people, primarily due to the fact that I can become very bossy if I feel like things aren't being done promptly (or correctly), but I had confidence in my group members and things went swimmingly, as they say. I've always loathed group projects, and even this one I'll admit was a pain. Getting everybody together and in the right mindset is an excruciating task, especially when that group is as busy as us. Diana and I had to break off our boyfriend weekends early to come back, and I know Liz was probably exhausted from her trip back from her track meet the day before. I've always preferred working by myself, or with at most two people, as I thoroughly enjoy doing the podcasts with Diana. Speaking of podcasts, I was talking with her about maybe discussing our experiences with the class for our fourth podcast instead of talking about Play Money, especially because I plan on using video games as my topic for my second Neovox Article (which I really need to get started on, as I was quite disappointed with my first one).

Frankly, I haven't been happy with my performance at all this semester with any of my classes. I haven't been doing badly, but I normally have this crazy vigor my friends all remark on. For some reason, this semester I just lost it. I really hope I pick it up again next semester. In the meantime, I'm going to push myself through the last few weeks. I work at the library from 10-3 (that's where I am now, actually) for the next few Thursdays so that's always a great place to do my homework since everybody's out partying.

Play Money

So apparantly I'm the only one in the whole class who will admit to being any level of a "gamer". So far, everyone else has talked about how they don't see the point of playing these games. Well, as a moderate "gamer", I truly enjoy Dibbell's book as I fully understand the topic and questions he is posing. For many years, my "game of choice" was Runescape, a free online game (although you could pay $5 a month for extra features) at www.runescape.com. I would spend hours on this game and I'm now a level 63! After reading Dibbell for a while, I began asking myself why exactly I find myself so drawn into these games. Dibbell talks about Flow, in which he draws from a psychologist who defines Flow: "Concentration is so intense that there is no attention left over to think about anything irrelevant, or to worry about problems. Self-consciousness disappears, and the sense of time becomes distorted" (37). To me, this exactly reflected my interactions with not only games but also reading. When I am drawn into a good book, I will sacrifice other aspects of my life until I have finished it, often sitting for hours without realizing it. So why am I so susceptible to the appeals of fiction and virtual reality, which, after all, are quite similar? I blame it partially on the fact that I become very attached to things very quickly (I'll admit, I still have my "baby blanket" on my bed at home). In high school, it used to be guys, but now that I have a boyfriend, I've found it better for the relationship to direct this attachment to other areas (haha). I've since found my attention grabbed by games. Sega, X-Box, Nintendo, Computer games, you name it, I love it. The stereotype of "gamers" is that they are all nerds -- they are weird because they play games; however, could they play games because they are weird? Although this semantic does not sound any better, it means a whole different thing. Many use games as a way to escape life (often what writers claim they do when they are writing). In a world such as Runescape, one is, in practical terms, safe from the world outside. Here, in a contained environment that they can in most senses control, they can overcome obstacles and become something of a hero and a "big man on campus". I'll be the first to acknowledge that I have always had self-esteem issues for a variety of reasons, though for some inexplicable reason, the feeling I got when I reached level 60 on Runescape was equivalent to getting an A in a tough course. I had an odd sense of accomplishment and pride -- when all I had really done was "wasted hours of my life" by sitting in front of a computer clicking on things. Perhaps I thought it attested to my patience to be able to sit for that long. Perhaps this patience is the Flow that Dibbell was talking about. I love to work, not because I enjoy it, but because it gives me a sense of purpose. Games such as Runescape give people enough freedom to establish their own identity in the world but still enough restrictions to make them feel as though they have accomplished something. And who knows, maybe they have.

Grammar and Neovox #2

A lot of people have been discussing grammar lately and how it effects people's views of you, especially on an online course. I'll admit, I am a spelling nazi. I am ashamed of myself when I misspell words, and I look down on others who can't spell at all. Ironically, my boyfriend is probably the worst speller I've ever met. For a while, I didn't have a proper cell phone, and so the majority of our discussions were held over AIM, much to my chagrin. On my good days, I'd find myself fixing his errors in my head; on my bad days, I'd just tell him where he was doing things wrong. Thankfully, he's never taken it to heart and we're still dating (3 years next Saturday!). Not only do his mannerisms in that sense irk me, but it makes me scared of how other people think of him. He's very intelligent when it comes to computers, cooking, fixing things, and cars (all of the above I'm fairly poor with), though when it comes to writing and expressing himself, he fails. He doesn't seem to have a problem with it, but I myself notice when other people can't communicate well and think less of them for it (I know, it's terrible). I feel that writing is an essential skill that everyone should work to establish well in their own lives.

Now, slightly off topic, I think I've come up with my Neovox article: Video Games. Some people have been discussing this as well, but, I want to talk about how video games DON'T make kids more violent and how they could actually help kids socially. I'm obsessed with video games myself, and though I love to shoot at those little computer graphics, I'm entirely too sensitive to even consider killing somebody. I can't even hurt somebody's feelings when they deserve it and escape from feeling guilty.

Finishing A Whole New Mind

I haven't been on top of my postings, and I apologize for that. I've actually had this book done for over a week as Diana and I did our Podcast last Monday, I just haven't written my reading response.

Most of the book is devoted to Pink describing his vision of "The Six Senses", Design, Story, Symphony, Empathy, Play, and Meaning. All of these impact me in more ways than I realize, however, the Meaning section really got me thinking. I was raised as a Methodist and have since then realized that I am an atheist. So when I came across this chapter, I was skeptical. Pink states that:

Across many different realms, there's a growing recognition that spirituality--not religion necessarily, but the more broadly defined concern for the purpose and meaning of life--is a fundamental part of the human condition. Indeed, our capacity for faith--again, not religion per se, but the belief in something larger than ourselves--may be wired into our brains. (221)

Here I will disagree with Pink. At first, I felt that regular sense of shame I often feel when people are talking about religion, or in Pink's case, "spirituality". I do not believe in God, I do not believe in Heaven, and I do not believe in good or evil. Those thoughts nearly made me dismiss this final chapter, however, all of this reading about people trying to find meaning in their lives inevitably brought me to ask myself the same question. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I put everything into the hands of humanity. I realize that there is "good" and "bad" in everyone, however, I attribute those factors to the actual people and their circumstances rather than outer supernatural beings competing over the mystical soul. Basically, I came to the conclusion that the "meaning of life" is, in rude terms, to propogate the human race. In more pleasant terms, it is to leave a "better world" for our posterity. I think Empathy and Symphony play more into Meaning than Pink realized. I am kind to people because I know what it is like to have someone be kind to me, and also, have someone be mean to me. I do my duties because other people are dependent on my completing a task. Inescapably, as I have found, it always comes back to people. Believe what you will about the "after-life", but don't forget about this world.

So, basically, I disagree with Pink that we are inherently spiritual, as I am not; however, I do feel that we have a desire to do something large and important, rather just for ourselves or for the world in general.